Written by someone with a family member whose an addict …
When someone you love is addicted, the truth is very hard to face. It’s not easy to view your drug addict son or spouse in a less than positive light. You’re not alone in having a hard time dealing with the personality and morality changes of the one you love suffering from the debilitating disease of drug addiction. This list is provided to help you, the family member, separate reality from fantasy.
Hopefully, this post is all you need to read in order to stop enabling the addict and instead start putting them closer to recovery and a healthier, better life.
They have to tell lies to mislead people about where they were when they were really out getting high. They have to lie about where the hundreds or thousands of dollars went. The more they feel they need drugs, the more likely they are to feel the need to lie about it.
When you have trusted a person for years and then they begin lying to you, it’s very hard to set that trust aside. Family and good friends can be fooled by a skillful liar for years. But all this time, the person is slowly destroying themselves.
When caught using, an addict will promise to do better, to go to meetings, to start going to church, to get another job, to stop seeing drug dealers or other drug users. The non-addict truly wants to believe the promises so they let up on the pressure. They let the addict back in the home or back down from kicking them out. As soon as the pressure is off, you can bet that a drug addict will probably be attentive and loving for a little while – until the next drug binge. Then all bets are off.
An addict may call in the middle of the night, crying and professing love, begging to see the one they love just one more time, but then if they meet, they ask for money just to get some good food and then is gone. The money goes to drugs. It was never for food and the addict planned this from the start. It’s all manipulation.
Irresponsibility is second nature for a drug addict. Whereas this person may have lived their prior life as a highly responsible individual, drug addiction steals that quality away. Whatever happens is never their fault. If they get fired from a job, it’s the boss’s fault, the addict was unfairly targeted. If he gets in a car accident, it was totally someone else’s fault. If he fails at some activity, those close to him will be blamed. Everything is always someone else’s fault and rarely will a drug addict take responsibility. This is all part of the illness and disease of addiction.
Family will appeal to them to please care for the children and their spouse, beg them to get another job, stop using these drugs and so on. Even if they want to, the addiction is much bigger than they are and they will be drawn back to their drug dealer, drug-using friends and whatever means he must employ to keep the drugs coming.
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MDS Drug Detox
25835 Southfield Rd
Southfield, Michigan 48075
Phone: (888) 637-6968